What is it?

There are questions and appointments.  There is waiting.  There are phone calls and paperwork.  There are referrals, and more appointments.  And more waiting.  There are symptoms or causes that may or may not be one or the other.  There are nurses, and doctors, and specialists.  Then there is waiting.  There are timelines and deadlines and stress. And lots of waiting. And lots of time to wonder, is it this?  If so then what?  What if it isn't?  What next?  There really is no point in those questions until we know, but until we know, all we have is questions.  The biggest question is when.  It's not waiting that I struggle with.  It's the not knowing.  And especially the not knowing when.