Wednesday, August 29, 2012

My weird son

Reposted blog entry from May 16, 2007

This is my first attempt at blogging so I'll try a little story about my three y/o son.

We're sitting at the table eating when he lets out a HUGE belch.  I was waiting for an "Excuse me" as he is normally very polite.  Instead he loudly yells, "I'm okay!"

I guess he must have thought it was "iffy" there for a minute.


Another entry from Feb 28, 2008

I was singing along to one of Daniel's songs when he tells me to stop singing.
"But I like to sing," I say.
"Why?" he asks.
"Because that's the way God made me," I reply.
"I like to sing too," he says.
"Then why did you want me to stop singing?" I ask.
To which he replies, "Because that's the way God made me!"


Another entry from Apr 22, 2008

Where is your father?

Ways your son tells you Dad's been gone too long:

1.  (Hold up a pair a thong underwear he got out of the hamper) "Mom, what is this?"  Uh, Mommy's underwear.  "But they're too small!"  Uh, you are correct.

2.  Ask, "Mom, when is my chest going to look like yours?"  Uh, never.  I hope...  (Hold up his shirt and show me his nipples)  "But I have these too."

3. (Hold up a panty liner) "Mom, if you don't pee in your underwear, what are these for?"

5. (Hold up a bra) "Mom, why do you wear these?"

4. Ask, "Mom, is there a penis inside you that helps the baby come out?"   No, honey, that's just how the baby got there (don't worry, I didn't really say that...)

5. (call from the bathtub) "Mommy, my penis is surprised!  Its looking at the ceiling."

Monday, August 27, 2012

Will you come visit me in jail?

Reposted blog entry from January 5, 2008

Will you come visit me in jail?
Because I'm about to break into the house next door and I don't care if I get arrested for it.

Yesterday, the weather matched my mood. It was raining outside and a little on the inside too when my husband pulled out of the driveway never to return. Okay, I know six months is not really never, but it might as well be. Even with two very loud and active children, the house feels so empty without him. I'm not usually this emotional and I blame it on the pregnancy hormones (I never thought I'd be one to get knocked up and then left). While the kids were in ignorant bliss, I self medicated with chocolate (which I don't even like) and endless internet searches. So when the power went out twice, while the rain poured down, and the kids were in bed (at 6) I had nothing better to do than head to bed myself. The one upside is that it would be a nice long night with no alarm going off in the wee hours of the morning to jar me out of sleep......until.....

The stupid, stupid, stupid low-battery alarm on the smoke detector in the house next door! The house is empty and the BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! is bouncing off every hardwood floor and bare wall to keep me up all night long! When the rest of the world is quiet and sleeping, the sound is deafening and all consuming. I'm about to freak out now and break in there to rip it off the ceiling and stomp its little self to bits. Or it occurs to me to just set the thing on fire. So when I'm sitting in jail tomorrow, I hope you'll come visit me.


Saturday, August 25, 2012


Kidipedia   noun   kid·i·pe·dia
: a reference listing alphabetically the words and phrases of one language (the one my children speak) and showing their meanings or translations in another language (English).

becomes   conjunction   be·comes
: for the reason that    [I took my shoes off becomes my feet were hot.]

canick   noun   can·ick
: one who repairs cars

hanitizer   noun   han·i·tiz·er
: liquid formulation designed to kill bacteria quickly on the skin of the hands.

hoars   noun   hoars
: one of the 24 divisions of a day : 60 minutes

kweese   verb   kweese
: to arrange or form in a queue   [Can I kweese this game before I turn the PS3 off?]

lieberry   noun   lie·berry
: a place in which books are kept for use but not for sale

load-down   noun   load·down
: to copy or transfer (data or a program) into the memory of one's own computer from another computer   [Daddy, can you load-down this game to my iPod?]

scratchy   adjective   scratch·y
: an uneasy irritating feeling in the skin    [The bug bite made my leg get scratchy.]

sucuse   verb   su·cuse
: to make apology for    [Oops, I burped. Sucuse me!]

Friday, August 24, 2012

A Modest Upbringing

I tend to dress modestly.  Even my swimsuit covers more than some people's everyday clothing.  Same with exercise outfits (the few that I own).  Not too short, not too tight, and always covering my stomach.

Yesterday when I was working in the back yard, the Alabama heat really got to me so I changed into a sports bra to help beat the heat.  This took my family so by surprise, that this is the reaction that I received...

Asha says, "Eww, Mom!  Can you put a shirt on?  That's gross."  (After staring at me for another minute she added...)  "I don't like to see people's belly buttons." Ethan yelled (just because he yells everything), "Dad!  Mom's not wearing a shirt!"  Daniel looked at my husband with a helpless face, "Dad, can you tell Mom to put a shirt on?"

Point taken.  Children just have a way of stating things to make you fully appreciate humility don't they?

Then this morning on the way to school we passed a man mowing his lawn shirtless.

Asha: That man is almost naked!
Daniel: It's okay for boys to have their shirt off.
Asha: Why can't girls have their shirts off?
Daniel: Because of their chest.
Asha: But I don't have a chest yet.
Daniel: Yes, you do!
Asha:  Nuh-uh!  It's not fat like Mom's!

Like I said, Fully Appreciate Humility.